In their misguided belief that their offspring is the best thing since bacon, parents tend to over share. Facebook is the worst culprit. It’s simply too easy to post a picture from your phone or tap out a status update. I know we’re all guilty of a few of these. I occasionally probably definitely irritate some of my Facebook friends with my incessant blathering about my child.
Here are the top 10 annoying things parents do on Facebook:
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Announcing your pregnancy before the pee stick is dry. Of course you’re excited, but did the kid who sat next to you in homeroom in 9th grade really need to find out before your mother? Or your husband? Perhaps a slight delay in sharing the info (at least until you make some phone calls) is for the best.
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Making your profile picture a picture of your baby. I’m sure the kid looks just like you, but your coworkers didn’t know you when you were 1 1/2. If you want to show off your kid, great. Make your profile picture a photo of the two of you together. Extra adorable plus people can recognize you!
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Posting naked pictures of your baby. This can be done tastefully if you crop the bathtime photos appropriately. Some of the time, however, you see a full frontal of a five month old. You do know that baby will one day be an adult, right? He might not appreciate his twig and berries being out there for all the world to see. Remember, the Internet is forever.
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Making every single status update about your kid. Believe me, I know how easy this is to do. (I am totally guilty of this one.) But every once in a while, throw something else out there. The world actually doesn’t revolve around that little carbon based lifeform. There is more to talk about, even if it is reality tv or Farmville (shudder).
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Uploading. Every. Single. Picture. Oh, good, you went to the zoo. Take a moment to delete the blurry/dark/awful pictures. Nobody wants to look at 387 photos of your kid in front of the giraffe, so nobody will look at any of your pictures. Post the good shots and get rid of the rest. If you wouldn’t put it in a photo album, why would you put it on Facebook?
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Tagging every picture of your kid as yourself. Again, pick a few, tag them so Grandma can see them, then let it go. If I want to see your pictures, just give me the highlight reel, ok?
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Posting play-by-play potty training updates. We don’t need to know that your “big kid” went #1 on the potty today. Leave it at “Starting potty training.” and then 4 months later “Successfully potty trained.” The End. And Jesus help you if you post pictures.
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Constant complaining. *Not exclusive to parents.* Yes, having a kid is trying. Yes, there are some days that will be very challenging. Yes, you have the right to vent a little bit to the Interwebs. But there are some redeeming qualities to having a mini-you running around in the world. Try to remember that on the bad days. Or just close the Facebook and get a glass of wine.
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Making a profile for your unborn child. As far as I know, the technology doesn’t exist that allows you to access Facebook from the womb. And cutesy updates from the fetus’ point of view are gag-worthy. Not to mention, they are way under the minimum age to have a Facebook account. See also: checking how many people have the same exact name on Facebook prior to naming your kid.
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Revealing your unborn baby’s sex with an ultrasound picture. Ultrasound pictures are great. Revealing that “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl!” is exciting. Showing an ultrasound picture with an arrow pointed between the baby’s legs is completely unnecessary. I promise you, I can just take your word for it.
Which of these Facebook sins are you guilty of? What other things do you see parents do on Facebook that make you want to poke your eyes out with a rusty spoon?
